Volunteering in India was something I always wanted to do after working at Vatsalya Boy's Shelter in 11th grade. Although, I thought it would no different to other things I've always wanted to do like go backpacking around the world or travel to antarctica, never going to actually happen (in this lifetime at least). November, last year was the first time I finally built up the courage to think about it seriously. I remember I had a few criterias : it had to be cold, because it was cold hopefully it would be lacking in bugs, and preferably there would be western toilet facilities. So with these few things in mind, I first decided on a program in Darjeeling. I even went as far as meeting with the organisation head in Brussels. After that, I'm not quite sure what happened, but somehow I ended up in a HOT Rajasthani desert with not only loadsss of bugs but scorpions, snakes, rats etc, with definitely no western toilet facilities in the entire town. If you ask me now, I definitely would have had it no other way.
This was a short chapter of my life in comparison to others, but probably one of the most rich in terms of learnings, changes and experiences. It definitely didn't seem like a big deal to me while I was in Bagar, but returning to bombay; back to AC land, no bugs and where everything is suddenly taken care of for me, it really hit me what an achievement the simple act of surviving was.
It's so easy to slip back into luxury and ease of life, that it's making me extremely restless, and unable to enjoy the comfort and being back with family. Am I supposed to do something differently? Am I already losing everything I gained from this experience? Will the memories and learnings fade quickly like most others do? If yes, how can I retain them...? How can I even pinpoint the essential elements I want to retain?
It's difficult to relate my experience to anyone back here... which adds to my frustration and restlessness... After the simple, usual questions and comments about my tan and my change in weight, most people run out of questions to ask or comments to make. It is unfair to lay the blame on them, as I run out of ways to explain and convey my experience in a way that may appeal to them. While I have went through, seen and learned many new things, most others have been living their lives, with not much change, and therefore how can I expect them to change? Maybe I shouldn't try so hard and accept the fact that the only people who will be able to relate to me regarding this chapter are those who shared it with me, and be at peace with that fact.
It was a process settling into the lifestyle in Bagar and will definitely be a process settling in mentally to life back in the urban world. With that in mind, I hope to continue this blog. One thing that Bagar has taught me, is too look at things and experiences through different perspectives, with more questions and an open mind. Although life back here might be back to normal, with little to write about, hopefully my change in mindset will see past what I saw before and reveal something interesting even in the most 'normal' instances.
