Chalta Hain...?

After the horrific bombings in Bombay's last November, as the leader of the state, what did Vilasrao Deshmukh do?  He ran to the Taj Hotel, like any good leader... HOWEVER not to see the damage, the carnage, the loss of so many innocent lives, the injustice of this horrendous act, but to make sure that his son, rising bollywood star Ritesh Deshmukh, plays the lead role in the next 'super-hit' movie directed by the one and only Ram Gopal Varma.  His deputy, RR Patil, further depicts the concern aroused by this incident, by making a bold public statement; 'such small incidents happen in big cities'.  This, unfortunately, also happens 'only in India'.

 

It is this attitude amongst the Indian population that represses this country from attaining its full potential... the 'chalta hain' attitude.  If the leaders, supposedly acting role models, of the entire state have openly exercised this attitude to dismiss one of the most shocking, tragic incidents in India's history, how can the common people be blamed? 

Time never seems to be a concern here.  I plan and push for children to come to painting class by four fifteen, but inevitably the class never seems to start before four forty at the earliest.  At four five, I have rely on a neighborhood kid to go door to door and call the rest, who waddle in one by one just woken up from their afternoon slumber.  At first, I felt offended and annoyed that they didn't take this seriously enough to be punctual and prepared.  After numerous classes, I have come to realise, it is the simple fact that these kids do not understand 'on time'.  I may sound like a hypocrite being the one to criticize lateness, as punctuality is definitely not something I can brag about (being a 'mehta' and all).  However, I do recognize it as a vice, whereas here tardiness is socially acceptable, if not expected...'chalta hain'.  

It makes me wonder if the two societies, I have been exposed to, are operating on two extremes? In one, time runs people's lives.  We schedule phone calls, meetings, social occasions, 'free' time, sleep all according to time, and live organized lives, leaving almost no room for spontaneity.  The other runs on sentiments, feeling sleepy...then go to sleep...feel like eating...eat but lacks order and planning.  One sucks out the sentiments, the 'feeling' from our lives while the other due to lack of foresight, hinders any substantial development.  Is it possible to find that balance and maintain it in either society?

Procrastination and lack of foresight are other traits hindering development.  Along with never planning according to time, it seems like the population only seem to think short term.  Exams ended in May, if I enquired about their summer plans in June and July, rarely did any provide a response, rarely were they worried...exams are first... summer plans 'chalta hain'.  Wanting to start a business and need funding, they ask the family friend next door to loan them some money... how will they pay it back?  No clue.  What marketing technique will be utilized? How much income will they need to maintain to sustain this business and pay off debt?  What type of customers will they mainly target?  How much are the monthly expenses?  What are goals for the business?  Questions of this nature may even confuse them.  Most of them feel that there is no need for so much planning...Sab 'chalta hain'.  

Being here, I have understood and come to peace with the fact that it is difficult to PLAN anything.  You can plan out as many routines as you want but if that routine lasts even a week, it will feel like an achievement.  I often go to someone's house and plan to stay for an hour, but find it absolutely impossible to leave before three hours have passed.  I plan to finish writing something in an hour, then coincidentally the electricity goes off and I cannot use my computer delaying the process. It is very difficult to exercise discipline and routine.  However, having said all this, I do recognize the importance of a goal.  This goal can keep changing and adapting to new situations, experiences or events, hence changing the plan, but it provides direction.  It provides a direction for an individual to focus and concentrate his / her energy.  The youth population is often without direction and guidance and therefore lack drive and determination to achieve their full potential... 'chalta hain'.  

But no...NAHIN 'chalta hain'.  If the population of this country operating on 'chalta hain' attitude, wake up one day with the epiphany that this is not necessary how it should work, they will be half way there to achieving full potential.  

Are we our own enemy?

I've always believed that men are the biggest obstacle in letting women chase their dreams and achieve success.  Restrictions, rules, laws, curfews, compromise, adjustment, etc are all placed on women and they are often forced to wind around them or argue their way through them to achieve a lot of the things they have.  According to me, it is futile to analyse who or what has instigated the creation of these restrictions, but instead more relevant to understand who and why, amongst many people, are these restrictions still enforced?

This thought came to me while I was at Meena's house in one of the poorer neighborhoods in Bagar.  Meena is a twenty year old girl who had to leave school after her ninth grade due to insufficient funds in the family to get her through her education.  Instead the family decided it was more important to educate her two older brothers through a master's degree.  No shock there, seen it in movies, read it in books, apparently happens all the time.  Meena, herself however, is still one of the most ambitious, talented girls I have met throughout my trip in Bagar.  She, even though at home all the time, works long hours.  A little before leaving school, she learned how to stitch.  She stitches salwar suits, lenghas, saris, shirts, anything really.  Through her small set of contacts in the neighborhood, she has started a small business of tailoring.  It's a small business, with very few clients, but with her tiny, hand run sewing machine it takes almost twice as long to complete something a normal sewing machine would take.  Still, all day she stitches, with that helps out at home, cooking, cleaning, takes care of her one year old niece etc. etc.  

Ironically, she's the only one in the family who has any sort of 'steady' income.  Her two brothers, even having studied, are struggling to find work and are bringing in very little.  Her father, after giving up a great job in a nearby village, retired and without planning, carelessly used up all the retirement money.  'I'd like to take care of at least my own expenses within the family if not others' (she said to me - in hindi of course).  An ambition and hope that many women in large cities wouldn't dream of doing, forget in the village.  

As part of our entrepreneurship project, she was an ideal candidate to help.  Not only was she keen, sharp and willing, she also had a great skill which simply had to be implemented in a business environment.  First obstacle, she was not allowed to attend the business course.  Although her father had warmed up to the idea of her attending these classes, her mother could not have been more opposed.  The idea of Meena walking (even if we came to pick her up everyday) all the way to the class, in the heat, with no other local girls with her, was absurd.  'Kya business business ... ladkiya yeh sab nahin kadthi'  (what business, girls don't do all this).  I was just amazed, that despite the financial trouble her family was going through, despite the fact that she had already been running a business in the house, her mother did not even want to listen to this idea.  

Fine, next time I went to visit, I suggested that I would personally come to her house, teach her the basics and help her implement the ideas to expand her clientele.  If things went well in increasing awareness, we could invest in a new sewing machine and from there increase productivity.  Again, her dad seemed to think it was a good idea.  Mom, however, still wouldn't hear it.  'What will happen if people find out she is running a business here???  This is not appropriate for girls to do!  People cannot find out all over town that she is stitching for others'.  Why is it that 'others' and 'people' always matter so much?  Here Meena was, the only earning member of the house and still her mother did not understand the unique qualities she possessed.  Instead she was trying to hide these qualities and suppress her potential, in attempt to conform with the rest.  What she didn't realise is that their situation was fundamentally much too unique to conform anyway.  

It really made me wonder ... who really poses as the obstacle against women these days?  Isn't it usually women themselves?  Ekta Kapoor wasn't a complete fool when creating the K series episodes filled with women drama, that admittedly are over exaggerated and often mindless but may actually have been inspired by some truth.  It also made me think of myself and the fact that I am actually in Bagar, this rural village in the middle of 50 degrees of heat in Rajasthan.  Would I have been here if the decision was going to be taken only by the female members of my family...?  I don't think so.  It is still difficult for them to really understand what in the world I'm trying to achieve by living in basic conditions, in the extreme heat, in the middle of a desert with random villagers.  Admittedly, it's difficult for anyone to understand.  Although, if it wasn't for the male members who were part of the decision making process, I probably wouldn't have been here.  Historically, it may have been the male that suppressed women.  Recently however, it seems that women themselves, directly or indirectly, restrain their own kind.    

Unfortunately, Meena's mother won, just like all women do in Ekta Kapoor's dramas.  The feeling of guilt is left with me for showing this lovely, talented girl a short glimpse of success, raising her hopes to a better life, but not being able to help her achieve it. 

Stuck in the box...

Just recently, I have started art classes for children between nine and twelve in a neighborhood called Pahadi Mohallah (right next to where I live).  I know what most of you might be thinking, me (the physics / maths geek) teaching ART of all things, it's more likely to be the other way around.  To be honest it's less of an official, technical art class and more a medium for the children here to be imaginative and 'think out of the box'.  

Contrary to most of my elementary schooling experience, creativity and innovation is hardly encouraged in schools here.  Children seem to be told what to do with strict instructions and hardly any room for personal input.  How did I assume this?  My first class I gave the kids a piece of paper and color pencils and the only instructions I gave them was 'draw anything you can see'.  This ranged from an ant crawling around next to them to the clouds in the sky.  Half an hour later, walking around the room, more than half the children still had a blank white paper and a very confused expression.  Some of them came up to me every five minutes to ask me what they should draw and were kind of distraught by my lack of substantial response.  Finally, to get any kind of art on paper, I had to sit with each of them individually and talk them through the options of what they could draw.  

Not only was this some kind of learning experience for them, it was definitely a learning experience for me.  The half an hour in which I refused to provide any guidance and was adamant to see them use their imagination, a lot of them felt lost and it seemed to upset them that were not capable of pleasing me.  This, according to me, is a second large flaw in their attitude.  The artwork or any work that is done, shouldn't be done to please me but in fact for their self satisfaction.  

Not only do I see this lack of creativity in children, but this same trait seems to be a big challenge in our project to encourage entrepreneurship for the youth in Bagar.  After completing their degrees, BSc, MSc, BA etc, they usually want to find a stable job, which will pay a specific monthly salary with very limited scope to grow.  Being creative, taking initiative and 'thinking out of the box' to start their own business is not something they find attractive or even completely comprehend.  Ironically, when explaining the idea of a start-up, some of these youths look just as distraught as the 10 year olds in my painting class.  

I believe that in situations as these education is not encouraging but hindering personal growth and success in the young community here.  They have almost been trained to stop experimenting and even stop THINKING and simply adhere to the rules that are given, just like solving a maths or physics problem.  Ironically, the previous generation, despite their lack of education, seem to be more capable of successfully running a house than their children, as they were most likely FORCED to 'think out of the box' during their youth for basic needs.  Their children now, highly educated with a MSc in physics, maths and chemistry are incapable of taking what their parents have built and expanding or even running it.  They fail to understand the scope of growth and the potential success, but rather prefer to apply year after year to get a position in the army.  Why? The army has rules, the army has a salary, the army guarantees that salary, the army has someone telling you what to do and there is no requirement or need to 'think out of the box'.  

The three extremely successful business families, Piramals, Maheshwaris and Roongtas, all began their establishments in tiny Bagar and since then have built a myriad of educational institutions throughout the village to promote youth education.  However the question remains have these educational institutions indirectly slowed down the youth's growth and success and in turn left them at stand still instead? 

Family away from family....

Family through birth is god's gift to individuals to help get through the journey of life.  Finding the love of a family outside of this just feels like a miracle.  This is a picture of a family (well nearly the entire family) in a nearby village (Khudana) whom I have grown extremely close to over my time here.  It's the kind of house I can enter at anytime I want for no particular reason, just sit and immerse myself into whatever they are doing, whether it is filling the water tank with water from the well, cooking lunch, eating lunch or taking an afternoon nap (always up for this one)...:-)

Home...?

'Home' is an ambiguous word.  What do people refer to as home and how and when does that change?  Is it where my parents live?  Is it where I shower and sleep?  Is it the city in which I work?  Is it where I have the most clothes in the cupboard?  The place I pay rent?  Where I know most people?

Having moved seven houses and four cities in these past 5 years, it's difficult to define the word 'home'.  People here are often surprised when I say 'I'm going home' or 'See you at home' in reference to GDL, especially as most of them having been here much longer, still would never refer to GDL as 'home'.  Whereas I, instinctively, have begun to refer to this little compound in the middle of this random village in rural Bagar, as home.

It's interesting to see the unique reasons for a place to transform into 'home' for individuals.  However it's often difficult to pinpoint and define the exact elements that are required for this transformation.  I guess in my case, although this is 'home' far away and SIGNIFICANTLY different from any other home, GDL still instills a feeling of physical/mental comfort and safety.  Simply my willingness and maybe even excitement to return to this gated square area every evening seems to be an amazing enough miracle to be able to call GDL 'home'.